Essay the psychology of infidelity

If a person wants to stay single forever, they are very much welcome to do so today. If people feel forced into married due to society, really that is ones own problem. I know a few single young people who dont feel the need or the want to marry. And that is perfectly fine. In addition, there are those who get married and have open marriages.

It is not the norm but if you can marry someone who wants the same sexual adventures as you, Great. I just think this is more about people being honest with themselves and their partners. I think monogamy works fine for the majority of people. I think it is somewhat unfair to just state that if someone feels forced to marry due to society that is one's own problem. Living in the Caribbean, and having travelled to some Caribbean islands including Jamaica, Barbados, Grenada and St Lucia I know of the power expectations influenced by colonial and evangelical religious teachings have even though many of these countries are now independent.

My Cheating Heart: What Causes Infidelity

Yes, many of the younger generation have been opting out of marriage or at least putting it off until much later in life but the social pressure still exerts some influence in many ways. From what I gather, even in the US much more so than in Europe , the influence of evangelicals hold considerable sway on sexuality and ideas of marriage. Now on the issue of "cheating" I agree to a point that deception is reprehensible. Yes, "cheating implies deceit". I will argue very strongly that very few people who engage in extramarital liaisons set out to do so or to be deceitful.

I think the influence of this monogamy-equals-morality is underestimated. From birth we are flooded with images, messages and teachings that monogamy and exclusivity represents the only moral form of sexual expression. From love songs to pulpit sermons we are told that love and intimacy go together at all times. Many people who end up in an affair do not set out to do so and many never thought that they'd be in one.

I am of the firm view that we need to seriously and perhaps directly confront a lot of the ideas and moral codes, social expectations so that while monogamy will most likely never be scrapped, more people make more informed choices about what is suitable for THEM before they enter into a relationship. I guess i can say its ones own problem because its socially acceptable to get married and have children but my husband and I dont want children.

Yes, but that's what YOU guys want. Don't assume that because you both have that freeness of mind everyone else necessarily will too. Sexual diversity is not something that is accepted in the patricentric mindset or any other form of diversity. Here is where universalism, the view that what suits a minute few is good for everyone else, really takes root.

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The Real Reasons Why People Cheat | Psychology Today

My major point is that I dont really care what anyone does as long as they are honest to themselves and others about it. Marriage and monogamy is not for everyone. But it is fine for many. I just think attacking monogamy is going by it the wrong way and I dont think it will garner tons of support.

I do, hence certain essays on my Trinicenter webpage. But the mere fact that YOU say you educate people that it is ok to take their time or to understand that monogamy is not for everyone shows that the opposite IS the dominant ideal and is what has been aggressively projected onto people since they were babies. So how does one expect them to do anything else but struggle to conform?

Maybe Im looking at this too hard from an american stand point. And even if someone gets married here they can divorce easily if they realize it is not right for them. Plus I do have to educate people because even with all this information people still genuinely want to get married and make babies.

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It seems its easier for those who have little interest in having children to really reflect on if marriage and monogamy is right for them. Those who are dead set of having a family I think want to get married because they believe it is a more stable environment to raise children.

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I think that is another aspect many dont think about when they are trying to prove monogamy is not natural. The offspring of sexual encounters. In this article the person explains that perhaps monogamy evolved and was pushed in order to protect children during their vulnerable years. That article was skewed from the very first sentence. Mind you some of what he wrote is indeed valid: the relative short "life" span of romantic love, the peak of divorce rates after 4 years which bears curious similarities with the average length of marriages in the ancient world.

In any event the notion of marrying till "death us do part" is a relatively recent phenomenon and one of its main architects, St Augustine, understood that by so doing it would eventually kill sexual desire which is what he and many other early Church Fathers was trying to achieve anyway.


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But anyhow, the article took many paragraphs to say next to nothing; the first sentence posits that monogamy seems "maldaptive" from a male point of view A little digging would have shown that monogamy was imposed by MEN, to curb women's sexuality which was a profound source of anxiety in patricentric Eurasian hunter-warrior clans. Sexuality, while not necessarily wantonly promiscuous as is conjured up by religious types, was more open in stable, sedentary, matricentric societies. With patriarchy and its various traits coming into its own which was connected with the ideology of private ownership, women and their offspring were in turn seen as belonging to men given that they were linked to men's amassing or increasing assets which was what determined how powerful they were.

Backer seems blissfully unaware that while there is debate over whether or not fatherhood was understood prior to the 2nd millennium BCE, up until lineage was traced through the male line, women could care less who the father of their children were as they had an elaborate social support structure that collectively raised all the children and lineage was traced through the mother anyway.

Vestiges of the custom of referring to all elders as "Mum" or "Dad" still exists here in the Caribbean and was much more prevalent back in the 70s as I recall my own childhood years. Even today many Trinidadians refer to older people they don't even know as "Uncle" or "Tantie". Then there's this: " From what I see the increasing complexity of society and the lengthening of education is what's facilitating more and more people to challenge many of these old conventions and ideas of morality.

So, what will you do?

What "extends the period of monogamy" would be the religious teachings, the TV shows and movies along with the million and one love songs that are rooted in this egregious rubbish about the "soulmate," the proverbial One, the person who has "everything" one wants. Funny, entertaining For all that are in need of this kind of services We come to your aid, feel free to contact us on our mail for any information, we will be happy to help you. Asking if infidelity is natural as far as evolution goes - there's something called "The coolidge effect" which is to do with the recovery time between sexual activity.

Also, over the span of a long term relationship, sex with the same partner deminishes. This shows that it is natural to a certain degree and that perhaps we are also designed to have shorter relationships rather than life-long marriage, or even group relationships with everyone having sex with everyone else - which makes more sense for nurturing our young as there will be more chance of shared resorces. I have read so many posts about the blogger lovers however this post is truly a good post, keep itt up.

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  3. It depends on what you mean by "natural.".
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  6. Is Infidelity Natural? It depends on what you mean by "natural. I could go into a whole list of other red flags in this post, but I am too dismayed. Please keep it respectful Submitted by Pamela Regan Ph. Anon, Your reduction of Dr. Are you sure that most EP Submitted by prasatko on July 2, - pm. Prasatko, I would say that polls and studies that look at infidelity can range widely in their findings; some find a large number of people have strayed while a couple others find that number smaller.

    10 facts about infidelity

    Merry, I would argue that her question, "is cheating natural? My point above is , if Submitted by Anonymous on July 2, - pm.

    My point above is , if cheating is natural so what?